What gets your blood boiling?

100% confident we’ve all been the victim of lousy drivers (and riders!) out on the roads. Below are my 5 top picks for what gives me the absolute SHITS!

SMIDSY – the old ‘sorry mate I didn’t see you’ routine. Get off your phone and use your eyes. Yes I’m looking at you shoulder check and mirrors 👀. Not seeing me is not an excuse for lazy driving.

Lane hopping – tied in nicely to SMIDSY and combined with not indicating / short indicating and general impatience 🙄🙄🙄. I can spot a lane hopper from miles back (white, teal or maroon Holden Commodores are the biggest culprits!). Anyone I catch lane hopping right in front of me, especially when lane filtering between traffic, is gonna get an earful and a mirror whack if it’s particularly arrogant. My tolerance is extremely low for this particular crime

Not leaving a gap – what most cars, trucks and buses don’t realise is how little space I need to blitz through. Ya can try closing up on me. I will get past even if not straight away. If you have the misfortune of closing up right when I’m coming through I will (and shall continue to as needed) give your side mirror a whack. I mean it’s just my legs and spine and vital organs, no biggie right?

Inattentive pricks – you’ve seen them sitting at the lights, on their phones, tapping away like no one can see them. I have sat next to people at the lights rev bombing or tooting and they don’t even look up. Next stop is a window tap from me and yelling at them to put their phones down (pointing at my helmet cam). You can see what they’re doing by drivers not accelerating on a green light, leaving a big space between them and the car in front while moving, faces lit up by the glow of a phone screen, swerving in their lane, speeding up slowing down then up then down, heads alternating forwards and down as they read or reply 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️. No matter the penalties, they don’t effing learn.

Fast lane tortoises – Get. The. Hell. Out. Of. The. Fast. Lane. You. Slow. Piece. Of. Shit. Besides being a ticket attracting offence …what isn’t though nowadays … for impeding traffic / not keeping left, other road users will do stupid stuff to get around you. If you’re not overtaking, then you’re being overtaken. Keep left unless passing rule anyone? Jesus Christ, move bitch get out da way!!!

Whatever gets your panties in a twist, remember to stay safe out there. It can be scary sharing the road with imbeciles, take care of you first and foremost. Stay shiny side up 🙂